After Becoming a Mom: Don’t Lose Yourself

Motherhood brings significant changes. Not only to daily routines, but also to identity. Many mothers find themselves prioritizing their children, family needs, and responsibilities to the point where their own needs are placed last. Over time, this can lead to a sense of losing touch with who they are beyond being a parent.

This Mother’s Day, it’s important to highlight a key message: caring for yourself is not a luxury—it is part of effective parenting.

Why Self-Identity Matters in Motherhood

Maintaining a sense of self is closely linked to emotional well-being. When mothers feel fulfilled, supported, and connected to their own goals or interests, they are more likely to show up with patience, clarity, and resilience in parenting.

This is also a central idea in Parenting for the Future, where we explore the theme:  “Raising children without losing yourself.”

The session focuses on identity, self-compassion, and the idea that thriving parents raise thriving children. It also addresses an important question many mothers face: How can we care for ourselves without feeling guilty and why does it matter?

Building Self-Care Into Family Life

Alicia Chin, a mom of three—including her eldest in their late teens—and Chairman of IBU Family, emphasizes that self-care can be built into family life through clarity and shared purpose.

She explains that caring for herself is closely tied to setting goals, both personally and as a family. For her, this includes:

• Setting personal and family goals to create direction and purpose
• Involving her children in conversations from a young age
• Prioritizing what matters while learning what can wait

She also highlights that this approach shifts parenting from being purely authoritative to more collaborative, while creating space to learn from her children’s curiosity and perspective.

Her experience shows that self-care is not separate from parenting, but can grow alongside it through intentional and shared practices.

Prioritizing Physical and Mental Well-being

Charis Ow, a mom of one, content creator, and certified sleep consultant, emphasizes another important aspect of self-care: health.

She explains that taking care of yourself—both mentally and physically—is essential, even if it requires lifestyle adjustments. For her, this includes:

• Staying active and building physical strength
• Finding inspiration in long-term health, including examples from older generations
• Accepting that certain sacrifices (like fewer social outings) are part of a temporary season

Her perspective reinforces that self-care is not always about balance in the moment, but about making intentional choices that support long-term well-being.

Letting Go of Guilt Around Self-Care

One of the biggest barriers mothers face is guilt. Many feel that focusing on themselves takes time or energy away from their children.

However, the insights shared in Parenting for the Future suggest the opposite:

• When parents are emotionally and physically well, they are more present
• When parents have clarity and purpose, they make more intentional decisions
• When parents feel fulfilled, they model healthy behavior for their children

In this way, self-care is not separate from parenting—it is part of raising a healthy family environment.

A Reminder This Mother’s Day

Motherhood is an important role, but it is not the only identity a woman holds.

Taking time to reconnect with yourself—whether through personal goals, physical health, or simple daily habits—is not selfish. It is a necessary part of sustaining both your well-being and your parenting journey.

Happy Mother’s Day.
A reminder to care not only for your family, but also for yourself.